I’ve got an upcoming camping trip on Canada Day weekend and usual I’ve tried to avoid at all costs. But alas, I can’t get out of it. Here are some things you should think about before inviting me to your camping trip.

1. Jamaicans know no fear.

Grizzly Bear
We don’t care if you’re a rabid raccoon, hungry grizzly bear or mountain lion, we’ll take you on. We thump first, ask questions later. We also don’t know anything about North American forests; we don’t really know what poison ivy is and don’t think anything could be worse than getting juk by macka.

So if you don’t want to waste your time taking us to the hospital or worse, reconsider that Algonquin Park invitation.

2. No matter where we are, we WILL try and cook something.

We love to cook!
Look, we don’t like other people’s food. Where ever we go we must cook up our fried dumplings, boiled green bananas, and rice & peas. Of course, this makes the camp more likely to:

  1. Burn down if we forget to put out the fire
  2. Attract all kinds of animals looking for food
  3. Which leads to point #1

3. We only know Jamaica survival skills.

Mmm yummy
We know how to start a fire (so we can cook), but if you get bitten by a rattlesnake or any other animal β€” you’re pretty much done for. Without our Jamaican bush, we’re worthless, and may end up doing more harm than good, like rubbing poison ivy in your open wound. Don’t ask us which berries or mushrooms look non-poisonous or which star is the North Star; we don’t know. If I tell you that I know, don’t believe me, I’m probably lying.

There you have it. For all who are going camping with me in July and are reading this, now you know what you’re in for. But hey, don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll all have a great time. Right?

  • haha — Now I know why my friends from Jamaica won’t go camping with me! πŸ™‚

    Ehren Cheung’s last blog post..Top 5 Spots on a Subway: A Glance at How We Sit and Stand

  • hahahahaa oh man, this is great Shey. Trinis are the same way – but for real, give me a plate of rice & peas and I’m STRAIGHT haha

  • haha — Now I know why my friends from Jamaica won’t go camping with me! πŸ™‚

    Ehren Cheung’s last blog post..Top 5 Spots on a Subway: A Glance at How We Sit and Stand

  • hahahahaa oh man, this is great Shey. Trinis are the same way – but for real, give me a plate of rice & peas and I’m STRAIGHT haha

  • @Ehren trust me, its a good thing! What’s funny is that my parents and siblings LOVE camping. But then again, I always thought I was adopted.

    @Andre Rice and peas with gravy is all a man needs πŸ™‚

  • @Ehren trust me, its a good thing! What’s funny is that my parents and siblings LOVE camping. But then again, I always thought I was adopted.

    @Andre Rice and peas with gravy is all a man needs πŸ™‚

  • Ha! The day i get my jamican friends in a tent is the day hell freezes over! Most of them would be happy with a bowl of rice. Never mind the peas and gravy.

    Good post!

  • Ha! The day i get my jamican friends in a tent is the day hell freezes over! Most of them would be happy with a bowl of rice. Never mind the peas and gravy.

    Good post!

  • Samar

    Tubbers, thats not completely true! Plus mommy and daddy go camping, and when we go we do just fine… haha when you go ur gonna lots of fun πŸ˜›

  • Samar

    Tubbers, thats not completely true! Plus mommy and daddy go camping, and when we go we do just fine… haha when you go ur gonna lots of fun πŸ˜›

  • Tania K

    As a Jamaican I can say this is so true. Although I must admit I have been camping….. in my back yard and it lasted only 4 hours:-)

  • Tania K

    As a Jamaican I can say this is so true. Although I must admit I have been camping….. in my back yard and it lasted only 4 hours:-)

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  • Tom

    I love camping, I have 2 very close friends from Jamaica, and I can tell you, you tell da trudt mon! My friend Bobby went with me one weekend. Said he wanted to try it. He didn’t boil bananas, but by God, he brought rice and peas! We had a blast though. I’m going to have to show them this blog. Way funny!

  • Thanks Tom πŸ™‚

    I did end up going camping and we did bring the rice & peas and more: http://flickr.com/photos/sweetsop/2662784643/in

  • Yellowstone Cabins

    I haven't knew those things about Jamaicans. Well, I think your foods are nutritious boiled banana hmm.. sounds interesting. I even like your skills that you know how to set a fire so you can survive anywhere.

  • nice points, thanks for sharing!

  • ozarktrailtents

    Lol, very funny post, I will remember not to take you camping with me.